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  • Writer's pictureEmily Piette

#MidnightWritings: The "Manosphere"

Recently, I have heard some of my clients refer to themselves, or others as being "Alpha".

One person told me they were "Alphas", and everyone in their family is "Beta".

I was quite perplexed... Honestly, I still am.

I reached out to my support network for answers. Guess what? Therapists get stumped too! In our brainstorming, we have come up with a few "hypotheticals". But I had to ask those Alphas directly to really get down to the bottom of this.

The summary of their answers is this: An alpha is someone who's confident, capable, and assertive.

Okay cool! Those are great qualities and strengths to have!

And then, I fell into this terrible, horrible, not so good, internet realm of The Manosphere.

The Manosphere (according to Wikipedia)- " is a collection of websites, blogs, and online forums promoting masculinity, misogyny, and opposition to feminism" (

If you know anything about me- I graduated with a Women's Studies Degree. I am a woman. I identify as female. I am highly educated and run my own business.. need I explain more of why this doesn't sit right with me? In this sphere of men, they promote themselves as confident, capable and assertive... at the expense of women.

The only way I can begin to understand this ideology (and my gosh, it makes me so uncomfortable to try) is through the lens of my clinical mind: attachment theory. In this approach, I explore the big questions: Who hurt you? Who created such a deep relational trauma/wound that has your guards up so high, that you feel and believe these things? Who has broken the trust so much, and so deeply, that it changed you? Is this a generational belief?

Are... you... okay? Did.. you hit your head? Etc. etc.

No matter their answer. Their trauma. Their mistrust in women. My concern around the toxicity of this culture remains the same. It is dangerous. It is harmful. It is not safe.

Side thought... Don't all words have the power to be dangerous when used with hate? Hmm..

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